Laboratory Blues
by Patrick J. Edwards
The instruments are running, working and humming
Gases hiss and push pistons to keep the instruments a-running
Fluids enter one end and excrete at the other
Computer screens radiate personnel with displayed data
Laser printers crank out hard copies to place in dust covered notebooks
Pumps in pain create vacuum or squeeze air into a smaller volume
Fraction collectors move tubes with grinding motion to catch a precious
drop of solution
The continuous motion of exhaust fans creates a chorus of background
music
Molecules are forced under high voltage to run their course
Compounds leak particles from decaying atoms to announce their presence
Ultraviolet radiation impedes on molecules only to be absorbed
Electrodes and sensors of all kinds "smell" solutions
This great orchestra of sounds and motion is endless
But-it is not so; a sound is different and so is the motion
Instrument breakdown and a call goes forth for service
An unhappy human places a call to the instrument's corporate parents
A message blurs forth from the voice mail: "your service engineer will
call you back"
Another voice mail: "I'll be there nest Monday"
Why did he not just say: "One week form today"?
Soon everything is unscrambling as problems arise in other instruments
One begins to wonder if it could be a virus or a sickout
Calls go out to other service engineers
Hours become days but no one comes to mend the instruments' ills
Soon the phone begins to ring, but the calls are not form the elusive
instrument doctors
The voices of investigators begin to fill the human's ears
Where's the data? Where are the results?
These questions vibrate the ears of the instrument keeper
The turmoil has erupted and a full case of Laboratory Blues is in full
swing
Please note the best cure for the Laboratory blues is a service
warranty backed by confident service engineers with a good response
time.
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