VIRUS TYPES
Ellen Degeneres Virus......Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC
Monica Lewinsky Virus......Sucks all the memory out of your computer
Titanic Virus..............Makes your whole computer go down
Disney Virus...............Everything in the computer goes Goofy
Mike Tyson Virus...........Quits after one byte
Prozac Virus...............Screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn't
care
Sharon Stone Virus.........Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget
it's there
Lorena Bobbit Virus........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
Tim Allen Virus............Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard
drive upon contact
Woody Allen Virus..........Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a
daughter card
Saddam Hussein Virus.......Won't let you into any of your programs
Tonya Harding Virus........Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
George Michael Virus.......Runs its course, occasionally releasing
excess
data
Joey Buttafuoco Virus......Only attacks minor files
X-files Virus..............All your Icons start shape shifting
Spice Girl Virus...........Has no real function, but makes a pretty
desktop
Ronald Reagan Virus........Saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus...Searches your hard drive for old files and
deletes them
Sony Bono Virus............Just when you get surfing the web a firewall
appears out of nowhere
Martha Stewart Virus.......Takes all your files, sorts them by category
and then folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your
desktop
Oprah Winfrey Virus........Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
AT&T Virus.................Every 3 minutes it tells you what great
service you are getting
MCI Virus. ................Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus..Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back
Have a nice weekend,
Deb McMillen
Biotechnology Lab
Institute of Molecular Biology
Eugene OR 97403